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I have my own meaning for life

To laugh with the one i Love and treasure <3

Finally i found some meaning of this life...

Thank you for teach me how to laugh again <3 . No matter how hard your day is it , don't forget to laugh and smile .

You have mouth and teeth , show the world why you still have it

grandma and grandpa dares to show even they don't have teeth , why we the young one not dare to show it? haha

show the teeth to the world ...

If i have the power , i want to made all world smile and laugh ...

made the person i love smile everyday

gives him all the happiness... to let him feel that he was the luckiest man


I know that i will regret ,but did i have another choice?

you giving me no choice .

'I Love You' those word really hard to come out?

Everything that i try to do for you , did you really know it?

You always said ' i know in your heart i was a person like that'

how can you even know about my heart? what did you really know?


I saw many couple's today ...

i stare and i wonder they look so sweet and happy

you'll never kiss me for suddenly in the elevator

you'll never hug me from behind , instead it was me doing all those stuff...

i pretending that it was fine , but sometimes i wonder it be nice if you can treat me like this...

treat me like i am your woman , like i was special than others....


when You angry , you just send me away... breaking me...tear me into pieces..

i try all my best to make you feel my love...

today i was just want to bring you for a walk...

let you out for a moment...

but actually i was hoping you could my hand or maybe ' sorry '

I never heard any sorry from you ...or feel any hands in my hands..

ya.. i forgot ... your pride .....

Babe i'm almost going to work already :(
and tonight i am sure I'll be late at home
so tonight sleep earlier okay?
dont wait for me...

and tomorrow prepare comes my home :)

I am so sorry that this few days i'd be so rude..
i really sorry...
i have so many thing to confused
forgive me ,my love :(
I try to control it...

and really thanks for this few days babe
i FUCKING LOVE IT!!!
i love all ur patience and surprise
i really longing this from such a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY long time!
really thanks alot sweet heart!
i fucking love u too :)

you know babe?
Just now i have a bad dream la.
i dream dad back home already and you cancel to sleep at my home
LOL . damnnnn unhappy == . although it was just a dream
but i make sure with mom already
dad back on Sunday : DD
hahah

babe leave me message on my Blog chat box to let me know you got stay tomorrow or not yar babe



can i be free just for a moment dad?
i really cant breath when you're home

i know other people might think that i was worst daughter
but you cause this to me dad . You're the worst influence to me
i never really can happy when you're around
i know i might be cruel by saying this , but have you stop and think for a moment about me?
what you really know about me dad?
did you know whats my favorite movie?
did you know when my b'day?i even never received any b;day present from you ...i'm not asking too much , perhaps 'happy birthday my daughter' ....that's enough
did you know what my favorite foods? what you know about me dad ?
all you know is ask me to study for my own goods
you know why i change like this dad? its all because of you and mom
and you know what?
it's really hard for me to open my heart again...

your guys never see who really i am...
when i win on my sport day , you guys even not congrats me
instead u guys saying ' that one is worthless , u better score on your study'

I am really disappointed that i have a family like that
i told before that we lack of communication , i want to try it before
but now i found out that is was useless ...and i'm done of trying..
every time i talk to you guys , but it's really disappointing... u guys even didnt have any feed back
and because of this family , i have to pretend that i was happy all the time! smile and laugh of the time ! but i feel dying inside...

as a dad , have you try to makes me happy dad?

If happiness do exist , i want to taste it

can you give that to me Junkie ?

because my heart is cold as the snow...
i might act it's nothing...but i do really sad...




i want someone that he was afraid of losing me , junkie...

and i still love you as much as i have before...
it just hard to let it go...
i try to walk away..but i keep come back all the time...

傻 傻 的 想 了 很 久

却 依 然 想 不 出 分 开 的 理 由

你 走 的 时 候 用 沉 默 代 替 了 分 手

是 你 太 残 忍 还 是 我 太 认 真

如 果 爱 情 可 以 瞬 间 忘 记

我 又 何 苦 那 么 的 爱 你

冰 冷 的 空 气

穿 透 我 的 身 体

冰 冻 我 的 心

你 能 看 到 我 留 在 屏 幕 上 的 字

却 看 不 到 我 滴 在 键 盘 上 的 泪

眼 泪 的 滋 味 好 象 苦 水

我 会 记 着 你 的 好 一 辈 子

为 你 落 下 最 后 一 滴 泪 不 再 哭 泣

也 许 某 天 还 会 笑 着 想 起 你

写 下 的 日 记 都 是 回 忆

只 希 望 你 可 以 在 你 的 心 里

留 下 我 的 身 影




落 下 的 泪 滴 是 为 了 你

也 为 了 证 明 我 曾 经

真 的 爱 过 你


To dearest Junkie

http://pensy-529-jun.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

If you could read back all my Blog history from start till end
if you feel nothing pain
i give up .

It's over . Everything was over .

I should have stop now , stop pretending to know that actually one day you will change for me.
because you never will !

You always want me to go away right? okay , i go now .
I wont going to disturb you like i did before , even if i want to message you , i would keep my hands off my phone!!!
i'll do it even i have to chopped my hand!

how many time i trust my heart to you , even everytime you always tear it again and again!
does everything i did for you wasn't enough ....
even everytime i cried out , cant you see my pain was real....

does you ever understand what pain i'm going through when you treat me like that ? NO , u never , even just once . u just keep what u think it's right for you


why every time have to be me to give in everything?
you'll never cheer me when i was down
you'll never try to get me back when i was angry , instead you'll angry me back

even sometimes when we fight , you still will hang out with your friends
going to singing and eat ! FUN rite ? hurting my heart was fun rite!
You still can sing even i was sad down like hell!

I just ask don't use your temper with me , don't asking break with me
but still you make it so hard
i never ask u to do much for me ...

I always laughing pretending it was nothing... it was nothing to worry about ...
But i really down here ... Hoping you will cheer me...find me and try to get me back....but you never did ...instead i doing all this thing..
you wont be hard to get me back ,you know that?all you have to do just put down that pride..but your pride stand many place than me in your heart...

I was nothing less but annoying girl that you'll think always grumble you
but you never really think about my words..

I still can cry here , still feeling all the pain you cause me
but what you'll think there?
I know...
that i was annoying and you'll be angry there and hates me.



I was annoying right? i was worthless?
Wait and see .

I have my own meaning for life

To laugh with the one i Love and treasure <3

Finally i found some meaning of this life...

Thank you for teach me how to laugh again <3 . No matter how hard your day is it , don't forget to laugh and smile .

You have mouth and teeth , show the world why you still have it

grandma and grandpa dares to show even they don't have teeth , why we the young one not dare to show it? haha

show the teeth to the world ...

If i have the power , i want to made all world smile and laugh ...

made the person i love smile everyday

gives him all the happiness... to let him feel that he was the luckiest man


I know that i will regret ,but did i have another choice?

you giving me no choice .

'I Love You' those word really hard to come out?

Everything that i try to do for you , did you really know it?

You always said ' i know in your heart i was a person like that'

how can you even know about my heart? what did you really know?


I saw many couple's today ...

i stare and i wonder they look so sweet and happy

you'll never kiss me for suddenly in the elevator

you'll never hug me from behind , instead it was me doing all those stuff...

i pretending that it was fine , but sometimes i wonder it be nice if you can treat me like this...

treat me like i am your woman , like i was special than others....


when You angry , you just send me away... breaking me...tear me into pieces..

i try all my best to make you feel my love...

today i was just want to bring you for a walk...

let you out for a moment...

but actually i was hoping you could my hand or maybe ' sorry '

I never heard any sorry from you ...or feel any hands in my hands..

ya.. i forgot ... your pride .....

Babe i'm almost going to work already :(
and tonight i am sure I'll be late at home
so tonight sleep earlier okay?
dont wait for me...

and tomorrow prepare comes my home :)

I am so sorry that this few days i'd be so rude..
i really sorry...
i have so many thing to confused
forgive me ,my love :(
I try to control it...

and really thanks for this few days babe
i FUCKING LOVE IT!!!
i love all ur patience and surprise
i really longing this from such a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY long time!
really thanks alot sweet heart!
i fucking love u too :)

you know babe?
Just now i have a bad dream la.
i dream dad back home already and you cancel to sleep at my home
LOL . damnnnn unhappy == . although it was just a dream
but i make sure with mom already
dad back on Sunday : DD
hahah

babe leave me message on my Blog chat box to let me know you got stay tomorrow or not yar babe



can i be free just for a moment dad?
i really cant breath when you're home

i know other people might think that i was worst daughter
but you cause this to me dad . You're the worst influence to me
i never really can happy when you're around
i know i might be cruel by saying this , but have you stop and think for a moment about me?
what you really know about me dad?
did you know whats my favorite movie?
did you know when my b'day?i even never received any b;day present from you ...i'm not asking too much , perhaps 'happy birthday my daughter' ....that's enough
did you know what my favorite foods? what you know about me dad ?
all you know is ask me to study for my own goods
you know why i change like this dad? its all because of you and mom
and you know what?
it's really hard for me to open my heart again...

your guys never see who really i am...
when i win on my sport day , you guys even not congrats me
instead u guys saying ' that one is worthless , u better score on your study'

I am really disappointed that i have a family like that
i told before that we lack of communication , i want to try it before
but now i found out that is was useless ...and i'm done of trying..
every time i talk to you guys , but it's really disappointing... u guys even didnt have any feed back
and because of this family , i have to pretend that i was happy all the time! smile and laugh of the time ! but i feel dying inside...

as a dad , have you try to makes me happy dad?

If happiness do exist , i want to taste it

can you give that to me Junkie ?

because my heart is cold as the snow...
i might act it's nothing...but i do really sad...




i want someone that he was afraid of losing me , junkie...

and i still love you as much as i have before...
it just hard to let it go...
i try to walk away..but i keep come back all the time...

傻 傻 的 想 了 很 久

却 依 然 想 不 出 分 开 的 理 由

你 走 的 时 候 用 沉 默 代 替 了 分 手

是 你 太 残 忍 还 是 我 太 认 真

如 果 爱 情 可 以 瞬 间 忘 记

我 又 何 苦 那 么 的 爱 你

冰 冷 的 空 气

穿 透 我 的 身 体

冰 冻 我 的 心

你 能 看 到 我 留 在 屏 幕 上 的 字

却 看 不 到 我 滴 在 键 盘 上 的 泪

眼 泪 的 滋 味 好 象 苦 水

我 会 记 着 你 的 好 一 辈 子

为 你 落 下 最 后 一 滴 泪 不 再 哭 泣

也 许 某 天 还 会 笑 着 想 起 你

写 下 的 日 记 都 是 回 忆

只 希 望 你 可 以 在 你 的 心 里

留 下 我 的 身 影




落 下 的 泪 滴 是 为 了 你

也 为 了 证 明 我 曾 经

真 的 爱 过 你


To dearest Junkie

http://pensy-529-jun.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

If you could read back all my Blog history from start till end
if you feel nothing pain
i give up .

It's over . Everything was over .

I should have stop now , stop pretending to know that actually one day you will change for me.
because you never will !

You always want me to go away right? okay , i go now .
I wont going to disturb you like i did before , even if i want to message you , i would keep my hands off my phone!!!
i'll do it even i have to chopped my hand!

how many time i trust my heart to you , even everytime you always tear it again and again!
does everything i did for you wasn't enough ....
even everytime i cried out , cant you see my pain was real....

does you ever understand what pain i'm going through when you treat me like that ? NO , u never , even just once . u just keep what u think it's right for you


why every time have to be me to give in everything?
you'll never cheer me when i was down
you'll never try to get me back when i was angry , instead you'll angry me back

even sometimes when we fight , you still will hang out with your friends
going to singing and eat ! FUN rite ? hurting my heart was fun rite!
You still can sing even i was sad down like hell!

I just ask don't use your temper with me , don't asking break with me
but still you make it so hard
i never ask u to do much for me ...

I always laughing pretending it was nothing... it was nothing to worry about ...
But i really down here ... Hoping you will cheer me...find me and try to get me back....but you never did ...instead i doing all this thing..
you wont be hard to get me back ,you know that?all you have to do just put down that pride..but your pride stand many place than me in your heart...

I was nothing less but annoying girl that you'll think always grumble you
but you never really think about my words..

I still can cry here , still feeling all the pain you cause me
but what you'll think there?
I know...
that i was annoying and you'll be angry there and hates me.



I was annoying right? i was worthless?
Wait and see .

hi my name is Pensy
19 this year
and i think my boyfriend are haawt :)